blame me or my parents (and not my wife) if I die

If something happens to me tomorrow, for example, if I’m mowed over by a truck, if I fight a heart attack because of my blood pressure, blame me or my parents. We are responsible. We are responsible for my current state of mind. I didn’t want to marry, they wanted me to marry. I married my wife for their happiness, to a girl they chose. Without any questions.

But ever since I did, my parents have been behind my wife like hungry dogs. Ready to eat her up. First, they asked her to quit her job, then, when my wife wished my father a happy birthday, he told my wife not to spread rumors. On everything that my wife says, or does, my parents think she’s doing something wrong. This vacation, my mother told my wife that they looked for a daughter-in-law because I couldn’t find decent food in the city I was living in. Which as stupid and regressive as saying that the only place women have in this society is as the housewives, and their only job is to cook food. Sure, her parents thought the same way, too. But my parents are doctors. To get this from them is heartbreaking.

According to them, there only purpose is to have kids, raise kids, and die. That’s what my parents want. They want us to have kids. I am saving 40% of my salary, not for my needs but for my child’s needs. Who doesn’t exist right now. They didn’t even look at the fact that when a person gets married, a new human being enters his/her life. A new human being brings a lot of complexities and needs and hopes and aspirations. They didn’t see that. They saw a grandchild. I hate to say it, but my parents don’t see my wife as a human being. They see her as an object who will serve their needs and mine. And I’m complicit to this. I used complain to my parents when my wife didn’t behave the way I expected her to. Because getting married to the imagination of a person is an entirely different thing than getting married to a real person. I am the reason why my parents treat my wife the way they do, and I’m the reason why I’m struggling with increased cholesterol and blood pressure. My wife has nothing to do with it.

I am trying to solve all the problems but I have pushed my parents to a point of no return. It’s not that my parents were any good before that. We had a happy life because my parents didn’t/couldn’t control my decisions and life. They found a girl they could push around, bully, oppress, and control. This is what they did to me until I wasn’t self dependent. Now I remember of the days when my parents did what they did to me, when they do the same things to my wife.

My marriage, my personal life is a mess. It’s because I agreed to get married. It’s because I let my parents enter my life again. My health is a mess because I let it happen. If I die because any of those things happen, it’s because of me. My parents will ruin my wife when I die. I am writing this so that the world knows and can save my wife from the damage my parents/my family (or even her family) can do to her. If I die, and if you can help my wife, please do that. Or at-least send this page to my parents. Find my parents, and send this page to them.

Today is January 17th, 2018.

Thanks,
Salil